After all, it’s not like you know you’ll see the other person at home later that night.For Will and I, the fight that taught this particular lesson was about — ironically — communication.Will and I are no longer together, but in hindsight, here’s what I wish I had known. If I’m being honest with myself, I know Will and I were both in the wrong.His ghosting made me feel like I didn’t deserve his attention, and my string of unanswered texts likely put too much pressure on an already volatile situation.
That is, you need to have three times more positive experiences with your partner than negative experiences in order to have a healthy relationship. The negative side of this is that the novelty wears off, and humans love novelty. Do the following: have fun together; do something ridiculous together; and just let go. The philosopher Arthur Schopenhauer used porcupines to explain a dilemma which often exists in human relationships.And they were more satisfied with the quality of their relationship overall.” Think of the three day plan as a cleansing which allows you to clear out feelings that keep your relationship from thriving. This is also true when it comes to our relationship with our significant other.Most people think that as long as the positive experiences outweigh the negative, everything is fine. It’s the ratio of positive to negative that matters.Maybe you can’t argue and make up in a single night — but being apart from your partner means that you can take the time to be thoughtful about what’s bothering you, and deliberate about how and what you want to communicate.For Will and I, there were several days between the beginning of the fight and its end.